Too Much

Ok so it's been a while since my last post and there is too much to recap in detail. But here's a quick summary of February: So volleyball continued to get better and I got my leg issue figured out. We went to provincials and got 4th which was sad, but still a huge improvement from last year. One highlight from the last month of volleyball is that I received the First team All-Star award, which was huge for me. I was very excited to recieve it and I am proud of myself for the accomplishments I've made so far. The end of Feb was reading week and I got to go home with Tim and he got to meet the rest of my family which was awesome. We surprised two of my sisters and that was so fun. The drive back was quite the adventure with snow storms and icy roads and closed roads, but we made it back to Abbotsford safe and sound :)

Now it is March and the semester is feeling like it's almost over which is crazy. It goes by so fast every time but I still get thrown off by how fast it goes. This week has been pretty hectic with missing classes on Mon because of getting stuck in the mountains. And having to catch up on that and I had a huge assignment that actually took all day on wed to complete that was due this morning. So Im glad to have that done. The men's volleyball nationals are here at CBC this year too and that started yesterday so the whole campus is just crazy. The guys played against MRU from calgary last night and they beat them in 5 sets. It was so crazy and fun especially because I have my own personal bone to pick with MRU so it was nice to see our guys beat them. It made my night for sure.

Today has been a little crazy. It started out with a crappy night because my roommate decided to have her whole team over for the night without telling me (big surprise there....!). They were noisy until about 3am and I am also sick so that did not help my attempt to get better. And also I had class early this morning so I couldn't even sleep in. Anyways, so I just figured ok it's one night, suck it up, it will be ok. My roommate also left this morning for about 8 days so I figured I could have a nap this afternoon or do whatever because I should have the house to myself. K so I had class this morning and it is intro to counselling. We do little practice type session things in class with groups of 3 and we just talk and practice our skills. So the topic was 'something that you are looking forward to or not looking forward to for this spring/summer once the semester is over'. So we started that and when it was my turn in my group to do the talking I just talked about my unsureness about the summer and as I talked I started to realise how much is on my mind for this. I have two options: 1. Stay in Abbotsford for the summer or 2. Go home to Calgary.

So the pros for #1 are: I get to be with Tim all summer, I like the weather here better, I will hopefuly find a job that I like more, I can live on my own, I can train with the team during the summer, I already live here so most of my stuff is here and i dont have to worry about getting home
The cons for #1 are: I might not be able to make as much money as I would in Calgary, I will have higher costs for living, I won't get to see my family much, I still have to find a job and place to live and its getting down to crunch time, paying for school might become more difficult
The pros for #2 are: I have a good paying job lined up with lots of hours, I can live at home and it costs less, I get to see my family, a job and place to live is lined up already
The cons for #2 are: I do not get to see Tim very much, I do not enjoy the job that much that I have lined up, the weather is not as great as in BC, I wont be living on my own (which I am getting used to now), I cant train with the team, I dont have a way home.

Anyways, so those are some of the things that are running around in my head right now and I do not know what to do. I feel as though my heart wants to stay in Abbotsford and thats what I truly want to do, but going home is easier because its figured out pretty much and I will probably make more money.

On to the next "fun" topic of the day: So I get home from class and I'm chillin and someone comes into my house (it was locked). So I go out and a guy on the bball team and his gf are here and I ask how they get a key and why they are here. Apparently my roommate who left for 8 days gave them her key and told them they could LIVE here while shes gone. And she never asked me or our other roommate. I am just really upset because first of all, I do not think its a good idea for them to both sleep here and also I was never asked. They are going to use electricity and hydro whatever and stupid things like toilet paper but its a big deal to me because I do not have the extra money to pay for them to live here. I am getting so sick of not being considered. It makes me feel like a stranger in my own place. Like I have to hide in my room and thats not fun or right.

K so ya thats whats on my mind.

A verse that comes to mind with all the future things on my mind is:

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." -Matthew 6:33-34a

I think I've used it before on a previous post but it's a good verse :)

Yucky week

So this week was a pretty crappy week. I was just all over the place emotionally and half of the time I did not even know why. There are just a whole bunch of things on my mind that I cannot get rid of ever. I don't even like my classes this semester so there's nothing to look forward to there. And as far as volleyball goes, well Monday sucked because we had to run a lot because a few of the girls were late last weekend and that sucked. The next morning we had team workout and my legs (outer quads) were feeling very sore. But I worked out and it was a lot of leg stuff like squats and such and that was quite painful and i thought they were just sore. Then in practice on Tues and Wed I did a whole bunch of jumping.. it felt like more than normal but it probably wasn't but my legs just kept getting more sore. And then for our games yeaterday and today they hurt so much. I had to just will myself to jump sometimes because they did not want to. This was a struggle and I do not know how to fix it. I cannot stretch them and rolling them made it hurt more. And I'm not sure if heat or ice is a good thing for it either.
Anyways, so we won yesterday which was great and we played well so that was fun. Today we also won, but did not quite play as well. And the second half of the game was very hard for me. First of all my legs were starting to hurt more and more and then my coach yelled at me. He singled me out and yelled so loudly at me. I'm sure the whole gym heard it. It sucked and because of the emotional roller coaster I had this week and the pain I was in, it almost pushed me over the edge. It took all that I had not to cry right there and for the rest of the game I had to really hold the tears back. He apologized to me after the game which was nice but it was still difficult to handle when it happened. I just really hope that next week will be better. This is one verse that helped keep me going this week :) God is so good!

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." -Romans 8:26-30

Oh and something I forgot about, I was named the Pacwest (thats my league) athlete of the week. Which was really cool because I have never received any sort of recognition ever before. Most people are surprised when they hear that but its true. However it didn't feel as if I even got it because the rest of the week was not so great and it kinda overshadowed it. And everyone has most likely forgotten about it by now anyways.

New Year

What is the purpose of a blog? To write about our thoughts and feelings and let it all out. So what do you do when the one thing that you want to talk about is also the one thing that you cannot talk about? Christmas break is over, it's a new year, and school is starting again. And volleyball is back in full swing (literally lol). I am excited for school to be starting up again because I am slightly a nerd and I happen to love school and I am so stoked for volleyball to be going again.

A lot of things have been difficult however because I have a lot on my mind and I am not able to talk about it. I get distracted easily and I have become very forgetful which is not like me. Some things will randomly make me cry and it comes so out of the blue sometimes. The past week back at volleyball has been very frustrating becuase something is just off for me. My coach even noticed and asked to meet with me becuase he could tell that something was wrong. The problem is is that I do not know how to fix it. I try to focus on just volleyball and the thoughts that are going through my head are volleyball related but then I find myself thinking about nothing and feeling zoned out. I want to do my best, but I just can't stay focused on it and its so incredibly frustrating!!! I just really hope that this doesn't affect my schoolwork too and my ability to focus in class.

       Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,   present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7

Christmastime

So finals are done and first semester is over. Studying for finals was so stressful but I made it through and I feel good abou how I did. It is so nice to feel completely stress free! My friend has an extra ticket for a concert tonight and she offered it to me so I am very excited for that. It is Paul Brandt and High Valley and it is going to be a whole bunch of fun.

Tomorrow I am going home and it will be so nice to be home for a bit. I will be working a lot but it should be fun anyways. And I am excited for some snow, but not for the cold. Christmas is going to be pretty busy with going home, working, coming back to BC for Christmas, staying with my best friend's family and then back to school. All the while I need to try and figure out a way to work out consistently throughout the next few weeks.

Last night I had such a fun night with Tim. We cooked supper together and then after made the most delicious Bailey's milkshakes MMmmmm. It was so tasty and then we watched a movie after and it was just great.

Anyways, there is not much else going on right now. Life is good and Christmas is coming!!

"For to us a child is born,
   to us a son is given,
   and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
                                        - Isaiah 9:6

End of Semester

Well the first semester is quickly coming to a close. Classes are done and finals are around the corner. I have so much to study and I have no idea how I am going to contain it all into my brain. Let's just say it's gonna hurt for a while. It will feel so nice when finals are finally over. After that, I get about 3 weeks off! It will be busy though. I will be kinda running all around from place to place; from school, to home, to my sister's house, to school, to my friends house and then back to school. And I am hoping to see my boyfriend sometime throughout all that craziness.

The past few weeks have been pretty chill. I had a few big papers to write, but they got done somehow (not really sure how though) and with volleyball slowing down, I have had a lot more free time. Yesterday my team had our weekly "team time" and it was really good as usual. Everytime two girls share their testimony and I love hearing about where my friends come from and why they are the way that they are. It is also a good environment for all of us to support eachother and pray for eachother. I love my team and I love team time! After team time,a  few of us went to Brad and Donna's (my assistant coach and his wife) and chilled in the hot tub! It was so relaxing and wonderful :)

Anyways, that is about it for now, I am going into study mode and I plan to not come out until I write my last final.

How great is our God

The past few weeks have definitely been better for my stress levels which is wonderful. I finally got my student loan money which has taken so much stress off. I hate worrying about money and now I do not have to! I also booked my flights home for Christmas and I am so excited to see my family. I am hoping to make all the money that it cost me to buy my flights back over the holiday by working and I have that all set up as well.

I have just a few more papers to write and then 3 finals and that will end this semester! It is so crazy how fast the time flies by. Next semester seems like it will be a tough one though. I do not have any easy classes to allow me to focus more on the harder ones because they are all going to be hard. AND I have to have a Friday morning class which sucks so much :( I am really not pleased with this. At all.

We got this weekend off of volleyball which has been fantastic. It gives everyone a chance to recover from being tired and sore and injured etc. It also gave me the chance to watch the basketball teams play and that was enjoyable. I had a physio appointment yesterday morning and it went good for the most part. He was able to fix the issue with my foot. The bones in my foot were all stiff and not moving around and he did something magical and it moves now so it feels way better now. He also did some work for my shoulder. The reason that my shoulder got injured on the first place is because my hips and back and shoulders and collar bones and neck were all out of line. It was seriously messed up. He fixed it pretty good last time but was just checking it this time and was making sure it was all still in line. He cracked my back which felt so good and did some rehab work on my shoulder. Then he was doing something with my neck and all of a sudden out of nowhere, he cracked my neck. The kind of cracking that you see in movies and never want anyone to do to you for fear of dying! He just did it! He did not warn me or anything, just cracked it. It felt kinda weird but I thought to myself, "he knows what he is doing and I'm still alive, so I guess it worked!" However, today my neck is sore incredibly sore. Maybe this is supposed to happen, but its so sore that it is giving me a headache and it hurts to hold my head up and it just feels really stiff. I am going to see how it feels by Monday and if it is still sore, I will call physio and tell them about it and hopefully get it fixed or something. Other than my neck, everything else is feeling pretty good from being able to rest up a bit. My shoulder is getting some much needed rest and my muscles are able to get better from feeling so sore.

Today my Mom called me to tell me that my Pake is in the hospital again with pneumonia. It's good that the doctors know exactly what is wrong so that they can treat him, but it is not good obviously and it scares me. I am so afraid of what will come and when it will come. I do not know what I will do when it happens, besides cry. A verse comes to mind from Revelation. I am in Revelation class at school and it has been so amazing to learn what it all means. Anywyas, the verse is:

"Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Revelation 7:16-17

This passage is comforting because I know that when we die, we will go to be with God and there will be no suffering and there will be no sadness. God himself will wipe away the tears of His people. The incredible, unending amounts of love and grace that comes from God never ceases to amaze me! How great is our God!

God is Good!

So this weekend was definitely better. I was feeling surprisingly unstressed and I was able to get a lot of my paper done on friday which was swell. We had more games this weekend, and we played Camosun. We never beat them last year, but we won on Friday!! It was so great to win and we played so amazing. Check out the CBC website, under athletics and click on the story about "WVB 3-1 over visiting chargers", there you will see a video of me talking about the game! It's a little embarassing because I was put on the spot, but whatever, its cool I guess. Anyways, so we played Camosun again on sat at 1pm and we played pretty bad in the first two sets and ended up losing the game. It sucked a lot but I was not as mad as I usually get when we lose. I had a lot of ancouragement from the other cpatain on the team whaich was wonderful and I also had a lot of encouragement from my coach. I had a pretty relaxing rest of the day on Saturday and I even made myself a real dinner! It was actually pretty tasty :) Today I woke up confused because of daylight savings time and I did not know if my phone reset itself automatically but I ended up figuring it out. I went to church and was really confused by the sermon and did not get what he was trying to say at all. Then I went for lunch with one of my best friends, Kari!! We had a great time chatting and spending some time together. Then I came home and called my mommy. We had a good chat, as always, and it made me feel so happy because my Mom always has the best things to say to me :) Then I worked on my paper and finished it (with a short nap in between). The cool thing was, I felt absolutely no stresss while doing it which was unusual for me so everyone who has been praying for me for less stress had helped! Because God answered and made me less stressed! God is so good! My roomie and best friend came home tonight (after going home to her family for the weekend) and it was great because I missed her and we always have so much to talk about and we have so much fun together. FFL!!!!!

Here's a verse that really speaks to me lately:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

This is so true, because through prayer this past week, I was able to receive peace from God!!